On Adverbs...

On Adverbs...

Beginning writers follow rules of thumb. Experienced writers break them.

Here’s a rule that drives me nuts: “Cut your adverbs!”

What is an adverb? The common answer, “an -ly word.” Yes and no. Adverbs are not merely –ly words. But like the word merely, they often tell ‘to what extent’. And just as your bodily organs perform functions giving you life, parts of speech perform functions giving life to an idea. Words and phrases telling to what extent, where, how and when are called adverbs. If you lose your liver, you die. If the sentence above, Adverbs are not merely –ly words, loses its adverb, the idea dies. Here it is: Adverbs are not –ly words.

          Great, but that isn’t true, and it’s not the same idea. So… should I rephrase the idea so I can get rid of the adverb? Let’s see:

          Adverbs don’t always end in –ly.

          Sorry. Which word in that sentence tells to what extent? The answer: ‘always’. You still have an adverb, and for the idea to live, you must tell to what extent. It needs that function of language; it needs a liver. And by rephrasing it to drop the –ly word, you’re left with a sentence devoid of voice. Sounds dull. Compare them.

1.       Adverbs are not merely –ly words. (Has some punch – a bit of a hook.)

2.     Adverbs don’t always end in –ly. (Zero punch. Flatter than wages.)

         
          So should you cut adverbs or not? Frequently. No, no… don’t cut ‘frequently’ – that one word substitutes an entire independent clause (sentence) when used in this context. Word count matters. Alright, theatrics aside, sometimes you should chop the litter buggers, especially the stupid ones.
         
          Shannon clapped her hands and smiled happily.
         
          Happiness is usually implied in a smile, is it not?
         
          Shannon clapped her hands and smiled.

          She looks happy to me, but what if it’s a different idea:
         
          Shannon clapped her hands and smiled sarcastically.

          Sarcasm isn’t always implied in a smile, so the idea needs something telling “how” she smiled. But using ‘sarcastically’ is lazy. We read to be entertained. And this doesn’t cut it. What does a sarcastic smile look like? The lips might be scrunched. And what else do people do when they’re clapping and smiling sarcastically? Shaking their heads, maybe?

          Shannon clapped her hands, but shook a scrunchy smile.  

          Better. But awkward.

          Shannon clapped, but shook a scrunchy smile.

          By cutting the object (her hands) the idea now focuses better on her smile. Besides, what else would she clap? Her jowls? Her thighs? Her… never mind. And since you cut two words, maybe add some back in.

          Shannon clapped, but shook her head with a scrunchy smile.

          That’s clearer, but not the greatest, and not all that entertaining. That’s why we’re here, right? To be entertained? So put Eileen’s response in, put her to good use.
         
          Shannon clapped, but shook her head with a scrunchy smile.
          “Sarcastic bitch,” Eileen muttered. “Karma man… Karma.” 
         
That’s tight now. Here’s the original:

          Shannon clapped her hands and smiled sarcastically.

          It’s lazy and boring…

          So here’s a better rule of thumb that covers the use of modifiers in general and is much easier to remember: Aim to entertain.